EXERCISEºRECREATIONºSPORT


HORSESHOE COMPENDIUM

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HOW TO WIN AT HORSESHOES
     The following hints will tell you how to win at horseshoe pitching, and enable you to become a popular and well-liked personality.
     Always bang your shoes together just as your opponent is about to pitch. This distracts his attention and makes him miss. If he glares at you about it, look very innocent and make a remark about how the mud sticks to your shoes or how your shoes continually burr.
     After you have pitched your shoes, just stand up at the front of the box, and if your opponent desires to pitch from that same side, make him remind you of it each time, and then just step across to the other side of the stake and stand there at the front of the box. This always worries your opponent and takes his eye while he is trying to pitch. If he still pitches good shoes, try waving your hand to an imaginary friend on the sidelines and shouting hello at him.      If your opponent proves to be a poor sport or a fussy guy, and insists on you standing back while he pitches, always start walking for the other stake just as he swings his second shoe. Thumping the feet hard as you start out lends effectiveness to this idea.
     If your opponent is having a hot spell and you want to cool him down, call for the score and then hold a long-winded argument with the scorekeeper over the way the score stands. Getting your opponent into the argument will help a great deal. Or if you get the chance, call for a careful measurement of shoes by the referee and keep him at it as long as possible. Even if your opponent is willing to concede you the point or the ringer, do not accept. Insist on everything being perfectly square. You might even seize this opportunity to make a speech about your fairness in all things, and how you wouldn't want anything you didn't earn.
     Never give your opponent credit if he beats you. Make him distinctly understand that you gave him the game out of pure goodness of your heart, or that you were simply below your normal form and could have beaten him easily if you could have got going.
     Always show the spectators what a swell sport you are by coaching your opponent, as he pitches, with some remark like. "Atta boy!" "Put 'er on!" "Let's have four dead!" And always loudly express sympathy when he misses. Always show your anxiety to see the courts kept in good condition by stamping and scraping the clay around the stake

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